one two three fourrrrnication!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
