3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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