Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
