im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
