Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
