fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
