so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
