How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
