How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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