He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
