My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
