You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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