Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
