Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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