go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I believe in your delicious
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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