We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
