Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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