I am in a vortex of obligation.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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