how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
