Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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