I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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