My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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