Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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