She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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