Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
