Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
