No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
