I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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