I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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