batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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