I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize
