he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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