I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
