stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
