I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
