I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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