Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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