It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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