Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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