Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw a hot homeless man
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize