He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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