the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
