In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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