Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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