would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
