But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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