I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
