Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize