went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
