I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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