it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
