What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
