That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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