Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
