I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
