I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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