Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
