It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
