im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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