Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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