"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
